Happiness Only Real When Shared

This is stupid. Other than acknowledging the death of a pretty bad fellow, there’s nothing important here. There’ll still be terrorism and violence as much as ever. Soldiers will still be in Afghanistan. Your freedoms are gone for good.  A corporate health care system, environmental degradation, and a host of other problems have killed far more people than Osama is responsible for, yet far more effort has been put into finding him than addressing any of those issues. Good job on your “victory” America. I’m still out of here for good when I graduate college.

It’s been a while tumblr.

Last time I posted something on here, I was just ending my facebook fast. The decision to quit facebook was inspired by an idea that has been with me ever since I was a young child. For as long as I can remember, I have admired the rogue vagabond or holy man, and I have considered that the most perfect path a person could take. I wanted to take leave, at least temporarily, of society in order to find myself in the wilderness and live a fuller life than the common masses. I saw it as my future. Religious figures like Jesus, Abraham, the Buddha, and their most devoted followers did it. Teachings from everywhere seemed to agree that a lonely path through the wilderness would take you to enlightenment and balance. Rebels and naturalists, mountain men and hippies, all of them took to the wilderness. Stories like “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas” and “The Lemming Condition” celebrated the individual who, disgruntled with society’s stupid yet necessary evils, has had enough of this world and walks away to a new one.

That was until I learned about Christopher McCandless.

A real, living, breathing young man who followed my dream. Someone I could relate to, not a story character or a historical figure. Chris might as well have been me. He died.

At first the story inspired me, and I brushed away his death as simply the result of a breach of common sense that I knew to avoid. Struggling with life this past year, his seemed a path of hope, and I seriously considered following his path when I graduated, with better preparedness to avoid the whole starving to death issue. If I failed out as I feared I might, I was going to take Chris’s path ASAP. Quit this messed up world and be free.

I haven’t given that any thought for more than a month now. For the first time in my life.

Some of the last words we have from Chris, when he was starving to death in Alaska, are thus:

“Happiness only real when shared.”

It took some time to let that sink in, but that statement changed my life. Perhaps if done right, a life apart would be beautiful and free. Perhaps. They say that the human connection you lose is more than made up for by the natural connections you grow. But I can have both. More importantly, Chris completely broke out of his life and caused himself significant trouble, pain, and eventually death. Most who do something like he did have a similar fate. If my path takes me there, I’ll go wander the wilds alone. But thinking about that as an escape and aiming for that perfect life, ignoring the one in front of me, causes too much pain and too much wasted time. I’d rather live the life that I find myself in and make it as perfect as it can be and not risk losing what chance for happiness I have. I only have so long to live, and I mustn’t waste any of it. That includes sharing the happiness that I have with the people around me, and learning to live among them and as one of them, though it may take sacrificing some standards. That way my happiness may multiply. Is this giving in, declaring a love for Big Brother? I hope not. But I’ll sacrifice a bit of freedom for a bit of happiness/love.

I got back on facebook, I started seeing friends and going to parties again, and I haven’t thought of escaping to the wilderness for a month. My future plans are with my girlfriend and friends. If I do ever need an escape or dramatic life change, it’s to another place or country where I’ll live an even better life and share my happiness more. I want to garden and birdwatch and maintain aquariums. I’ll go for hikes and explore the woods. I want to make some money so I can travel to foreign lands. I’m going to live my life, balanced and happy and loved, and not waste my deepest thoughts and creativity on rebellious, soul-searching escape. My soul is right here, if only I’d use it right here.

I’ve decided to bring my facebook back … because facebook doesn’t matter.

I’m not going to devotedly publish statuses every day. I’m not going to care what my profile looks like. I don’t care if my “religious views” perfectly captures how I feel about the cosmos. I won’t seek to friend every single person I see. I’m just going to have a simple profile by which to be in touch with people. Some days I might spend more time on there, sometimes I’ll go a month without it. I shouldn’t block out everything that I have trouble with. Instead, I should work to make it work. I will make facebook useful, not a danger, not a burden, not a drug.

Facebook. Like a boss.